What Is My Purpose In Retirement

I often find it funny how we can be in such a big world yet at times it can seem so small. And furthermore we enjoy to think we live in such a huge world full of diversity, experiences, and unique wonders…. yet when we travel out of town even on the most simple of trips and we run into a familiar face we are elated with joy at the small comforts of the world …. well unless you are ducking and diving because it's the ‘last person you wanted to see, and what are the chances!’ hahaha!

Earlier today I had this situation happen, I mean the good one haha, where you are so excited to see familiar faces you haven't seen in awhile. I was out for lunch with an old friend celebrating my upcoming birthday at Mallory's Restaurant and Rooftop in Hudson WI. Hudson is a central location between the metro area of Minnesota and the beautiful St Croix Valley area of Wisconsin. Mallory's is a beautiful place to gather with friends and offers an amazing view of the St Croix River.

My friend and I sat and visited, looking out at the view, just kicking around different ideas about life and all its mysteries as we often do when we get together. He is transitioning into his first year of retirement after holding off from retiring as a college (biology) teacher for the last couple years. And through TALK, my consulting and coaching business, I often run into people who are seeking advice on how to reinvent their day to day life in retirement due to the huge changes they realize (or didn't realize) happens during this transition. I find it so fun to talk to people and learn different perspectives, specially when it comes to areas of life I have not experienced yet.

To my unknown delight a group of ladies I know were also there having a fun get together! Most likely reminiscing over the years of work they had all done together at a dental office (the best dental office ever btw.. Woodbury Dental, not joking! check it out!) and also catching up with all their current news. Anyways - It was so fun to say hi and catch up.

OK so before I continue… in my own defense I have a Bachelors/Masters in Metaphysical Humanistic Science and study human habits and how that affects our behavior, and I also have a Doctorate in Philosophy sooooo those who know me know I love to ask people questions about their experiences because I believe learning from each other’s experiences helps us broaden our own understanding and capability.

So as a couple of these ladies passed my table we ended up recognizing each other and would have small chats in passing and to my delight one of my friends mentioned she...

...was a few years into retirement *cha-ching!* hmmmmm you mind if I ask you a question? She maybe didn't realize that she was really about to give us some great inspiration, and that she was also about to add to my reservoir of ideas to help coach but I had to ask a burning question…..

And she was more than happy to take “the hot seat”.

What was my question?

Well the number one challenge that people entering retirement talk about, is the lack of momentum to get everything done day to day. Now for a lot of people this even ends up meaning daily house chores and tasks at some points. Often times we talk about how there just seems to be so many hours in the day and they feel there's no reason why they shouldn’t be getting a lot accomplished yet there is no momentum behind it.

So I asked her… When you were transitioning into retirement did you find it hard to keep up on your day to day lifestyle routines or did you find it hard to keep up on tasks or responsibility?

She delighted me with openness and shared that she has absolutely been loving retirement and even mentioned that

“Retirement so far has offered everything

I envisioned Plus More!”

Well that was super exciting to hear! How fun and rewarding!

Yet she also shared with us that she has faced times of having to find her rhythm with it all. That she had been a very focused and dedicated worker, perhaps even putting more pressure than necessary on herself at times and that it was difficult to match that mindset to the rewarding days of retirement. She even agreed that at times it was challenging to get all of the day to day tasks done because the day to day schedule is so different without the work hours.

This is definitely a point that I talk with my coaching clients about and of course my motivation to exploring these questions with friends to broaden my perspective and ability to help others.

When you are transitioning between career and retirement you may face times where even though you have full days to yourself you don’t accomplish your tasks.

And this is something my friend shared that she had also experienced. When she was conquering her successful career at the dental office she had a structure to her lifestyle and day that was built over years, and after awhile you don't tune into when or how you're going to get your daily tasks done because you know you have only certain times of the day that all of that can be accomplished, whether it's laundry, errands, or personal appointments and responsibilities for yourself and your family. You only have Monday through Friday after work hours or in-between children’s activities and other life events you might have going on.

Possibly at points you even sigh and say to yourself ‘I can’t wait to have time for myself so I can get all of this stuff done’.. And then it happens! You retire and you “have all the time in the world” hahaha Annnnd now what?!

Well she said a couple keywords that I wanted to remember ….

Some times during the beginning of retirement you get overwhelmed by tasks because you may Feel Like You Have Lost Your Purpose and feel like you need to build a new purpose to have the momentum again. She even mentioned that staying busy definitely wasn't hard but being productive and feeling satisfied at the end of the day was occasionally because there was a feeling of lack of purpose some days.

I would have loved to sit and talked her ear off all day but of course, as in passing meetings go, I didn’t have enough time to dive deep with her. She was absolutely inspiring though and after saying tons of Midwestern Goodbyes (lol if you know- you know) I finished my lunch with creative conversation that I hope inspired my friend as he enters his rewarding years of retirement, and I also left with ideas and vision to keep plunging forward with helping people redesign their lifestyles and relationships.

We face so many teacher/student opportunities in our lives. Sometimes we are the teacher and we are offered a chance to authentically help someone and sometimes we are the student and get to explore communication, listening, and learning.

I absolutely love helping people learn mindset and lifestyle skills that will transform their experiences. Often times we are faced with our own inner voice that wants us to remember all the scary thoughts, ideas, failures, and what ifs… maybe you have tried many times to ‘do it different this time’ or perhaps you weren't even expecting such a hard change in life…

Regardless of what you are facing, first remind yourself that there is so much in this life we can’t control. And then remind yourself there is an abundance of areas you can control within yourself.

There are opportunities to create different experiences that have less out of control situations and those opportunities start with aspects like taking control of your mindset, daily habits, and learning to dedicate those to a new vision, even topics like retirement … this will then require new thoughts, new reactions, new choices and boundaries, and new goals.

You can chose to promote your journey to the next level or even change the course of your journey completely.

Looking for a Life Coach that has knowledge within the areas of transformation you want to create is a great way to invest into your best future. Life Coaches are a great resource for gaining professional advice in a confidential setting. And I personally believe that nothing beats having the motivation and accountability of a coach and cheerleader at your side while you level up your lifestyle and relationships.

What wonderful days ahead!

I am the owner of TALK Consulting and Coaching, in St Croix Falls WI and

I am the Interior Designer of LifeStyles and Relationships

I always have time for questions and offer a Free Consultation

Nothing Scary, No Pressure, This isn't long term therapy… this is fast, effective, full of teamwork and …. drum rollllll plllleassssseeee … Affordable

contact me direct.. no automated email list... talkplansucceed@gmail.com

- Rev.Dr. Nelson CSC PhD