Updated: Dec 23, 2022
Do you lay awake at night...
wondering what happened to your relationship? or why you can not authentically enjoy the life you have worked so hard to create?
You deserve a life and relationship that actually fits the personal standards you have for your ideal experience, You have permission to bridge the gaps and have fulfillment and satisfaction in all areas of your life. Your dream life is available and I want to help develop your highest potential and build a platform of limitless success and growth for your future.
Relationships are hard work.
When you love someone you want to care for them and believe that you can face the good and the bad and thrive in a long lasting relationship. Yet we do not know what the future holds… what looks so good today does not lookout the same needs 10 years from now. We base todays good intentions and actions on building a future in which we know nothing of.
Have you used the term HoneyMoon Phase? That amazing love bombing experience where the world is at your fingertips and you can hardly image how you could have ever waisted a breathe on any other opportunity, The two of you see eye to eye and inspire each other in a way no one else ever has.
Even as all of those amazing plans start to unfold you start to also gain experiences in all different areas also. Pretty soon you are balancing full on life and relationship and everything it takes to grow and maintenance the goals, you finish education perhaps, start a career, buy a house in the perfect neighborhood, get married, start a family, get promotions, and even promote areas of your lifestyle and mindset. And all of these first time experiences are happening pretty fast in the scope of your whole life time.
Just like a baby growing through its first developments... your first five years of your relationship are full of fuel and drive and motivation because of curiosity. These years are all about inspiration and asking what can I create with this person, who can I become with this person. The next five years are usually consumed by household rolls, delegating, and maintaining career expectations. These years are still fueled by the idea of this being a part of what you were building, it’s hard work but you can still feel the dream and the connection.
The 3rd of 5 year period starts the years of possible high risk experiences… we’ve got restlessness, annoyances, plateaus, regrets, painful experiences such as loss or other circumstances, stress, exhaustion, loss of ambition, loss of daily satisfaction, distance in intimacy, distance in connection, exhaustion from feeling alone in the relationship, wondering where your soulmate went, where's the fire and excitement, are they bored of me, cheating on me, what if it's me, what if it's them, I've done everything I can, was all of this worth it? How could we accomplish so much and be so distant and disconnected now. Are we even attracted to each other anymore? What about all of the investments such as our children and their future…
Hmmmm….. Sound like your last marriage or relationship? How is it that each person we meet or each opportunity we get presented seems so much better than the last?
Read my blog
to dive deeper into the simplicity of this pattern.
When it comes to wondering if you've lost sight of your relationship you really need to first take into consideration the reality of what a relationship is.
A relationship is two people who decide that their mindset, intentions, and interests are aligned enough that they feel they can operate their independent lives from one home in order to achieve their highest potential together.
No matter if you are single or in a long term committed relationship you have independent responsibilities to yourself and your life that you will have to grow and evolve in order to find personal value and satisfaction throughout your life. When you choose to be in a relationship you choice to say… Hey I believe that you are aligned enough with me that we can essentially team up and live our best lives together by adding support through all the good and bad… because you know even on your own you are going to have those challenges and celebrations.
Relationships take constant communication, intention, and intentional action. Relationships also become so unconditional in the beginning same as that child 0-5, to where you feel so confident and comfortable supporting each other as you dive out to conquer those initial goals. As time passes you start to lose sight what used to motivate you… You might even cry to your partner about how they used to this and used to that… yet honestly your partner is most likely no longer doing those things because you are not in that phase anymore… and honestly you probably don’t even want them to be doing “thossse” things, you just want something… and right there is the ability to see a great place for exploring and building an upgraded solution.
Your relationship has officially hit it's adolescent years and might be giving you some attitude.
Finding quick wins and balance in relationships is a fast effective way to start reconnecting your relationship and adding the fuel back into it to rediscover what your desires are at this new stage of the game. You've accomplished a lot so far and part of the pain you are feeling now is the confusion on what tipped you off your tracks, how could you be so in love and so successful and now so disconnected… It is also hard to see a challenging situation when it is affecting you.
Why take four years of trial and recovery when you could gain solid ground in 4 month working with a professional? Most of us do this because we think we are successful enough to solve our adult problems like adults on our own. Yet that is not true... you did not even succeed your successful career without mentorship, or land your dream house without the inside tip from that successful realtor... the challenges that you face in your day to day life and relationship are no different when seeking influential advice like that...
No longer do you turn to your family or friends for investment advice, you go to your accountant... and no longer are you alone in developing your highest potential in your lifestyle and relationship.
Understand you haven't lost sight of your relationship or dreams, you are literally living multiple aspects of every one of them and because of that your relationship is no longer an idea that you can sit back and think about and implant feelings and intentions into. Your relationship has become a full force living experience that takes so many unacknowledged actions and maintenances built through the unconditional stages of your relationship that simply your relationship just needs a clarity meeting, a plan, and a promotion, just like when you first met. Every stage of a relationship has special pleasure codes and languages that will keep you feeling excited and keep you building that initial momentum.
Dr. Nelson CSC PhD